This might get a little preachy but bear with me. I have to say it somewhere and this will be as private as I can get. Let me start.

Scooter owners are NUTS!

Of course many of you will say, “But Jim, you are a scooter owner”. Yes, I am, but NO, I'm not. I prefer to think of myself as a Motorcyclist who is experimenting with other genre. I can jump on the Honda Rebel motorcycle just as readily as I can throw a leg over the Chinese scooters.

Why I say they're NUTS is from the reading I've done over the years in places they congregate and espouse their philosophy. Did you know that a scooter is a scooter and a motorcycle is a motorcycle and never the twain shall meet? Oh yes. A scooter isn't a motorcycle, it's better. Just ask them. This from Scooter in the Sticks.

The BMW R NineT is fun to ride but it does lack some of the thrill I derive from the Vespa — that feeling of flying that comes from relative silence and absence of mechanical reminders.”

For those of you unfamiliar with the BMW it's a 1200cc motorcycle while the Vespa owned by the writer is a 250cc scooter. Trust me when I tell you that a 1200cc BMW will keep your thrill levels alive. A 250cc scooter? They're nice. Nothing that makes your eyes water but it will get you from point A to Point B. Eventually.

Here was the nuttiest part in my estimation.

I tried to picture the BMW R NineT in my garage; what role would it play in my riding life? It seems great for a ride that requires nothing more than the clothes on my back. So the utilitarian needs of a daily commuter or long distance traveler are out in my book.  The nineT seems like something akin to a sports car that only goes out on sunny days for fun.”

Really, not a capable commuter? I rode motorcycles back and forth to work for years without saddlebags, put over 100,000 miles on them. A bungee cord works just fine for securing a lunchbox on the seat behind you. If you have to carry a laptop and a change of clothes I know they make laptop backpacks, I own one.

Here's Jimmy Zeiser's declaration of what a scooter is. To the devoted loyalists it's their dream machine. No shifting, no noisy engine and a built in trunk to carry essentials. That's also the definition of an automobile. A hidden engine, an automatic transmission and a trunk. Yes, Scooter fans. You're riding a Chevy Impala that only has two wheels.

Is that bad? It is if you define a motorcycle as a crude device only fit for Barbarians that drag their knuckles when they walk. I don't see how something that requires skill to shift, ability to brake effectively and incredible reliability that surpasses even the best scooter is “Crude”.

Don't tell that to the scooter devotees though. They'll have a fit.